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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29591925">Maledīxerō</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbelieve/pseuds/unbelieve'>unbelieve</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, I feel like there's a specific tag for that but I can't find it im sorry, Past Character Death, T for swearing, at least thomas thinks it's profanity maybe it's literally just not, in fairness I realized on rereading minho does use actual profanity, it's just not written out, mentioned past suicide attempt, the death cure deleted scenes, this could be canon we just don't know bc thomas wasn't there</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:14:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,504</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29591925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbelieve/pseuds/unbelieve</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The world's gone off-axis now, that's the only answer. The world has spun off its axis, and Newt is sick and angry, and when Minho gets hit, he hits back. He's never been good at apologies.</p>
<p>Or: An attempt to reconcile two years of friendship with the book scene in which they try a little too hard to hurt each other while escaping WICKED, even though Minho's supposed to be in his right mind.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minho &amp; Newt (Maze Runner)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Maledīxerō</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Minho can’t remember the last argument where he formally made up with Newt. It’s just not how they operate. Most of their fights don’t really mean anything, back and forth sniping without any genuine heat, and any of them with real weight always fade eventually. There’s a rhythm between them that’s been beating since the days they’d both run the Maze, falling in and out of tempo but always steadying itself with enough time.</p>
<p>Time, however, is no longer on their side. Taking a week to get over themselves isn’t a luxury available to them anymore, and so Minho will swallow all the sharp edges of his pride and ignore the way they scrape his throat going down. He hates that he’s nervous. It’s just an apology, and it’s just Newt, no matter how recently they’ve thrown each other into walls. They’ve been through two years together, trading one hell for the next, the next, the next, and it’s not fair to be nervous now when there’s almost nothing left in the world he’s scared of anymore.</p>
<p>Shit he can’t control, maybe. That might be the only thing.</p>
<p>There are a couple of couches at the back of the Berg’s cargo hold, and Newt has taken possession of one of them, splayed across it. His head is propped against the armrest, the heel of his hand pressed against his left eye, and Minho almost thinks he might already be falling asleep until Newt drops his hand and levels a look at him. </p>
<p>“What.” </p>
<p>It’s not a question, and if Minho knew how to back down from anything, he’d turn around and head straight back to the other side of the Berg. There’s only so much space in the airship, but the smart thing to do might be to give Newt as much of it as possible right now. Sometimes Minho wishes he was better at doing the smart thing.</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean it,” he says, which is not really the way he’d wanted to start this conversation. Too nonspecific, not enough of an apology, far too easy to turn back against him. </p>
<p>Newt, of course, catches onto all those elements. “Which thing? The one where you said we might need a Crank to sniff out any other Cranks? That was real sweet of you, made me feel like I could still be useful.”</p>
<p>“Newt, stop.” It comes out harsher than he wants it to, because he might as well fuck this up too, apparently. He forces himself to pull back. “Like I said, I didn’t mean it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? Then why’d you say it?” </p>
<p>There’s an edge contained in those words that could cut him to the bone if he lets it, and Minho’s struggling to tell how much is the Flare and how much is real. Newt is a far better person than he will ever be, but that’s never stopped him from giving as good as he gets if someone really deserves it. After today, Minho’s pretty sure he qualifies. </p>
<p>He runs a hand through his hair and he spends a moment hesitating at the edge of everything he’s not quite sure how to say. He knows more about fatal missteps than he’s ever wanted to know, but he’s never quite learned how to stand still, either. </p>
<p>“I’m scared, man. And before you say anything—” he says, as Newt opens his mouth “—I know that’s not fair. I know I’m not the sick one. But I don’t know how to deal with this.”</p>
<p>Newt doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and for a second Minho thinks maybe he’s set him off again, but when Newt looks up at him, the storm in his eyes has cleared. “You’re gonna have to. You’ve seen how bad it’s gotten already.” If Minho hadn’t spent two years watching Newt develop that expression of false calm, that forced-steady tone, it might have almost convinced him. Instead, it just hurts. </p>
<p>“You can’t just give up. I mean, yeah, things aren’t good, but maybe we can find a way to slow the Flare down.”</p>
<p>“So what if there is? I’m not going to let you waste time and effort on that. The most that’s going to happen is that I go insane a little slower, and there are other people you need to keep alive.”</p>
<p>“I’m not just going to treat you like some—I don’t know, lost cause!”</p>
<p>“I’ve <i>been</i> a lost cause, Minho.” He gestures vaguely toward his right leg. “You know that better than anyone.”</p>
<p>And... oh. There it is, isn’t it?</p>
<p>They don’t really talk about the circumstances under which Newt broke his leg. Minho had known for a long time, had put together the pieces from the things he’d seen and the things Alby had said, but he’d never been sure Newt knew he’d figured it out. This is as good a confirmation as any, and somehow it still stings like the first realization. </p>
<p>It’s all so goddamn unfair that Minho wants to scream. Maybe this inferno without an outlet is the reason he’d snapped back at Newt in the first place, because he can’t argue with a disease, can’t knock a virus to the ground and beat the shit out of it, and he never learned how to keep the heat from going <i>somewhere.</i> It’s not fucking fair. Newt has gone through enough.</p>
<p>“Even if that wasn’t absolute bullshit, I wouldn’t be giving up on you anyway. We don’t know that there’s not going to be a cure. Yeah, maybe they don’t have one yet, but that doesn’t mean they can’t finally put everything they did to us to good use and figure something out with a little more time. It’s not impossible.” It comes out with too much force behind it, as though it wasn’t obvious already that he’s trying to convince himself as well. </p>
<p>“Optimism isn’t really your color,” Newt says dryly. “Just... don’t bother telling me things are going to have a happy ending. I tried that lie on Alby. We all saw how that worked out.”</p>
<p>Minho doesn’t bother saying it wasn’t Newt’s fault. They’ve tread the circles of this argument over and over and over again, not getting anywhere except deeper into the dirt. So instead, he says, “That’s not the same thing.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, well. Crazy or dead, same two possible end results.” </p>
<p>“Stop,” Minho says, a jagged-edge plea, because there’s only so much of this he knows how to take. “Just—stop.”</p>
<p>Newt sighs, stretching out across the couch. “Guess it’s no good taking it out on you. We might as well get some rest while we can.”</p>
<p>“I mean, I’m not saying you can’t talk to me. I’m here for you. I just... can’t stand to hear you acting like it’s over.”</p>
<p>Newt doesn’t say anything to that, presumably trying to respect Minho’s wishes, but Minho almost wants him to break the silence anyway. Maybe it’s better to know than to try to fill in the blanks himself.</p>
<p>He’s not sure how it will feel if Newt dies. He can guess that it will feel like a severed limb, and the perpetual incompleteness that must entail. He knows it will be worse than any other death he’s witnessed, because as much as each death of a Glader has ripped apart some piece of him, none of them are Newt. He thinks the fire in his lungs might finally devour him whole, and he also thinks that none of those things will add up, in the end, to the reality. Imagination can only take him so far, especially when he feels like thinking about it too hard will only dare the universe to tear Newt away faster. </p>
<p>Newt glances at him and then looks away, then does it again, running the knuckle of his thumb across his lower lip. </p>
<p>“I can feel you thinking,” Minho says. “Stop doing that.”</p>
<p>Newt raises an eyebrow. “Since when is that a problem?”</p>
<p>“Well, they said thinking too much might make it get worse faster, so... just don’t.”</p>
<p>“Then who, exactly, is going to do the thinking around here?” It’s the same argument as earlier, but this time accompanied by the barest hint of a smile, and Minho feels a little like he’s been forgiven. </p>
<p>“I think all of the rest of us combined can probably come up with something. Maybe.”</p>
<p>“Still bloody <i>spectacular</i> at pep talks.”</p>
<p>“Hey man, that’s your domain. Thomas’ on a really good day. Sure as hell ain’t mine.”</p>
<p>Newt snorts. “Definitely not.”</p>
<p>“Go to sleep, shank.”</p>
<p>Newt shifts a little, settling into the couch, but then after a minute says, “I already know you will, but just... take care of everyone, you know?”</p>
<p>“You’re not going anywhere.”</p>
<p>“Just promise me.”</p>
<p>“You know I will. But I promise.”</p>
<p>“Good that.”</p>
<p>They’re both quiet again, the sounds of Newt’s breathing almost lost in the Berg’s hum. </p>
<p><i>I’m not gonna forgive you if you disappear,</i> Minho thinks. He knows that’s not fair. He hasn’t decided yet if it’s false.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have to do everything myself around here don't I dashner</p>
<p>I'll probably keep doing it tho</p></blockquote></div></div>
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